ARE WE WEIRD?! or A Weekend in Mai Chau

I spent this past weekend with my friend Mia in Mai Chau. I like anyplace here in Vietnam that gives me a chance to get away from it all, but I revel in a place that gets me closer to my childhood dream of being Maryanne from Gilligan’s Island. Why Maryanne and not Ginger? Look. Some women are Maryannes, some women are Gingers, and its best to figure out which you are at an early age. Me? Well, I have long accepted a fate of gingham and pigtails and been quite content. Besides, we all know the professor liked Maryanne better...

But I digress. We slept in a BAMBOO HUT!

It was awesome.

We also went on possibly the best bike ride of our lives through the farming valleys.

On the way we met another awesome pig for me to add to my collection. I think I’ll call him Hubert. I like how he was standing on his hind legs when I came over, just leaning on the rail as if he and I were two young hot piggies at a dive bar, hangin’ out and hoping to get lucky. That was definitely Hubert’s attitude.

"Hello, Ladies."

I also met this lovely lady. The picture says it all. I love old Vietnamese people. They are so sweet.

The main lodge which maintains the hut that Mia and I stayed in was really pretty nice, but like a lot of places in Vietnam it was still a bit odd. Tourism picked up very quickly here, so everyone appears to have just scrambled to get on the bandwagon without really thinking everything through. Still, there was a relaxing pool, decent food, and, best of all, Ethnic Dance Performance!!

The best part of staying at places like this is meeting the other guests. I’ve got it pretty much down to a science of who’s who in Vietnamese tourism.

First, there are always some snobby French. They won’t respond to you in English and they DO NOT like to participate in the Ethnic Group Dance. Next, there are the Swiss. They’re usually attractive. They usually smoke. They’re usually nice. They may even share their birthday cake with you. Still, they’re in Vietnam on vacation, so they’re probably pretty weird. Then there are the chubby Brits. They are rosy cheeked, ready for happy hour, and unlike the French, ALWAYS willing to participate in Ethnic Group Dance. Next, you have the Nordic looking 34 year old couple and their 2 equally Nordic looking children. You can’t quite place their accent, nor can you quite figure out what the hell they’re doing in Vietnam, but you know they make you feel ugly.

Finally, there are the Americans. They come in a lot of ages, shapes, and sizes. Most of the time they’re pretty crunchy and look like they need a shower. This weekend, the Americans came in the form of 2 lesbians, one who was stuck in the 80s, and one who hasn’t used a razor on her legs since protesting the War in ’71. This is a fairly typical US pair.

Right before we left the lodge for Hanoi, I ran down to the guest computer to check my email (I’m an addict) and left Mia in the lobby. When I came back upstairs, Mia had a bewildered expression on her face and blurted out, “ARE WE WEIRD?!” Apparently, the other tourists were starting to get to her.

“No," I said. "We’re not weird.”

Still, looking around at our constituents, I’m not sure if I believed myself. After all, we didn’t just choose to visit Vietnam, we chose to LIVE here....