Coffee Shop Books

Most days in my little town in Northern Vietnam, I find myself sitting in a coffee shop feeling rather conspicuously American, or at the very least, conspicuously white. Despite other changes over the last 8 months(8 months!!!), my pasty pallor and big brown eyes have remained the same. A small stature and straightened hair have helped me blend in, but still--good, bad, or indifferent--I stand out in a crowd. I can’t imagine being a leggy blond...Sure, I’ve dreamed of it, but I can’t imagine it.

Very few women go out for coffee or meals alone here, further epitomizing me as THE “single, white, female.” So, what happens? Well, I tend to attract uninvited male table-mates dared by their friends to A) make small talk (in Vietnamese) and B) sit uncomfortably close to me.

I’m a friendly girl, really I am. And I can certainly enjoy the company of the opposite sex. But let’s be honest: it’s awkward. I can hardly speak Vietnamese, but the one phrase I can always recognize is “Do you want to marry a Vietnamese man?” It is, after all, the #1 most commonly asked question here in Vietnam. I usually respond by saying, in broken Vietnamese, “Khong! Khong! Nguoi yeu cua toi song o Nuoc My.” (No! No! My lover lives in America.) Over the past 8 months, I’ve made up more lovers, fiancees, and husbands than a polygamist. Immigration officials at JFK will hear of my reputation and send me straight on to Utah.

Truth be told, the Vietnamese men I attract at coffee shops are actually somewhat akin to the men I attracted back at bars when I lived in America: kind of weird, kind of desperate, kind of drunk. They are usually sucking the life out of a pack of Vinataba cigarettes, maybe taking a shot of rice wine or two, and sometimes leaning so close to me that the long hair sprouting from their little chin mole hovers dangerously close to my turned shoulder.

Over time, through trial and error, I have found that my greatest defense is good book. Reading is Power, dudes.

I arm myself with either my kindle or a good paperback and proceed to bury my head away from detection or scrutiny. Of course people can still see me, but this way I can’t see them seeing me. Reading does wonders to keep the eye contact and uninvited guests to a minimum.

In addition to keeping me somewhat undercover, books of course have provided another escape. In the words of Emily Dickinson:

“There is no frigate like a book

To take us lands away...”

So, what am I reading?

I’m not ashamed to say that I just finished a book entitled THE VIRGIN'S LOVER. It was written by Philippa Gregory--of THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL fame-- and chronicles the relationship of Robert Dudley and Queen Elizabeth I. Who doesn’t love historical fiction and the salacious details of the Elizabethan court?!I have another book by Gregory downloaded onto my kindle--this one about the dueling houses of Lancaster and York and the tragic lovers caught in the middle. I can hardly wait to get started.

(I live alone in Vietnam...Stop judging me and allow me my fantasies.)

It's not all semi-trashy historical fiction; I’ve gone through many different reading periods here in Vietnam. I’m an emotional reader, and books provide a certain catharsis. There were a few months when I was really into reading about the Holocaust and WWII. Read into that what you will, but I’d definitely recommend THE BOOK THIEF by Markus Suzak and THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows.

There were another few months where I just read a bunch of memoirs written by women...some of which involved Southeast Asia, and all of which dealt with life changing circumstances.I’ve read a few novels written about the plight of African-Americans in America, and some books that can only be described as Chic-lit.I’ve also re-read some old favorites--like THE ALCHEMIST by Paulo Coehlo, and GREAT EXPECTATIONS by Dickens. There’s no outward rhyme or reason to my literary choices, but when I look back at what I was feeling or thinking at the time, what I chose to read makes a helluva lot of sense.

What’s next on the “To-Read list?” My friend Lauren just sent me Greg Mortenson’s new book STONES INTO SCHOOLS--the sequel to THREE CUPS OF TEA--and I’m getting started on that. I’d recommend his books to anyone. I also have had WAR AND PEACE downloaded onto my kindle for a few months now...maybe I’ll get to it before I leave??
Regardless, I just have to take a minute and thank my reading-teacher momma, who didn’t let us watch TV as kids--except PBS and Sports-- and really made me love books. I bet she never guessed that all of that hard work and hiding-of-the-remote would someday help me ignore creepy dudes in Vietnamese coffee shops.